A few weeks ago, my doctor increased my hormone dosage. I know that regulating the thyroid hormone can be a process (often more frustrating then surgery and treatments). The lucky thing is that I went into this whole thing healthy and pretty in-tune with my body. So, I noted any and all changes to report to my doctor.
First, the Ladies. Sweet baby Jesus, how they hurt! I mean, I'm toting around a rather large and impressive pair (all natural, just so we're clear) to begin with. Since the hormone replacement, they have felt like heavy (and heavier) bags. Also, my lower back and hips are operating like someone three times my age. There's popping, cracking, and it hurts to bend over the sink to brush my teeth. I'm not in agony by any means, but things are wonky and unpleasant. This past month, my uterus decided to join in the fun. Let me say, without getting too graphic, that my bits have operated like clockwork since that fateful day in the girls' bathroom outside of Mrs. Larson's 7th grade English class. Therefore, when that clock went haywire, I was on the phone with my gynecologist ASAP. She asked all the necessary questions:
Are you pregnant?
Did you miss pills in your birth control pack?
Are you stressed out?
Uhhhh, YEAH! My body is currently running a hormonal experiment on itself. You could say I'm a little stressed out!
So stressed, in fact, that I broke down in tears on the phone with my gynecologist. That's another thing--the crying! I've always been a cryer. Songs, movies, opening presents, good news, bad news, a really good piece of cake--I'm a puddle. For the first few years of living together, I had to constantly reassure D.R. that crying is my body's natural reaction to just about anything, and it has nothing to do with him. Crying is not new for me. What is new is how intense it's been lately. Granted, I am job hunting, which, anyone who is in this same boat knows, is a frustrating massacre of pride and self-worth, certainly worthy of a few breakdowns. But, as D.R. ever-so-gently pointed out, 2 or 3 times a week for an hour at a time is a little much. Even for me.
This is what makes hormones frustrating: even perfectly balanced, they are so unique to the individual. They are affected by stress, mood, diet, and other lifestyle choices. And, if something is off, the symptoms can be so non-specific (headaches, joint pain, mood swings, low energy, weight fluctuations, dry skin, etc.), it could be any number of things. You may just be stressed out; you may have cancer. Dealing with those extremes, it's difficult to keep perspective and not feel like a lunatic.
After my crying jag ended, my gynecologist recommended I see my doctor and get my levels checked again. Armed with my list of recent shenanigans, I rolled into my doctor's office. He was sympathetic, but explained that all the symptoms I am experiencing usually only happen when someone's thyroid is "way off". Well, considering I no longer have one, I'm guessing it's pretty off!! I think he was trying to protect me from being alarmed and scared by attributing all my symptoms to the stress of job hunting, but he ended up sounding condescending and dismissive. This infuriated me more because, since my diagnosis, I have been diligent about nutrition, exercise and stress. I am by no means a picture of zen and glowing health, but I am treating my body better now than I did before the diagnosis. AND I WAS TRAINING FOR A HALF MARATHON AT THAT TIME! If it sounds like I'm bragging, it's because I am. I got the motherfuckin' memo, kids! I don't care how easy thyroid cancer is to treat. Cancer gets to cross my path unchecked exactly one time. After that, it's fists up, and you better believe I'm comin' fo ya!
But I digress.
After a lengthy discussion, my doctor did a blood test and called with my results. Turns out my thyroid levels were "way off". So off, in fact, that he was surprised. He took the time to explain all the medical stuff, but I just kept thinking, Ha, sucka, I was right! I know my body, and I. Was. Right.
It's easy to pin it all on the doctor, but really, he doesn't know my body the way I do. All he knows is what I tell him, and whatever the gooey stuff under the microscope tells him. If those two things don't make sense, who do you think he's going to be skeptical of? It's not the microscope. Yes, doctors should be advocates for their patients, but they're not oracles; they don't have all the answers. At the end of the day, we have to take responsibility for our own health.
I am happy to report that my doctor increased my dosage by quite a bit (112mcg to 150mcg). It's only been a week, but the Ladies seem to be happier and lighter. Looking forward to the other stuff working itself out.
Also, did I mention that I was right?
2. Frosted Cupcakery
|Strawberry/cream cheese deliciousness.|
|D.R. with his beet juice. So not a cupcake.|
So serious that my sweet friend, Joey, brought over some cupcakes on Sunday, including the latest Flavor of the Month, key lime/cream cheese. Unfortunately, Joey was unaware of the 30-Day Baked Goods Ban, and I wept inside as I turned down that fluffy frosting for some . . . beet juice. I did, however, watch Joey as he ate a cupcake. I told him he had a purty mouth.
3. Nutritional Yeast
Since I'm not eating cupcakes right now, I'm focusing on healthier options. Nutritional yeast is a huge help in this department.
A few months ago, my lovely friend, Nari, came over to cook dinner with me. She thrust a jar of homemade salad dressing into my hand, along with a piece of bread for tasting. Then she stood back and waited for my reaction.
"Holy shit, that is the best dressing I've ever tasted! What, besides crack, is in that?" I asked.
"It's nutritional yeast!"
"Umm, what is that, and please tell me it won't cause itching or burning?"
I ran right out to Whole Foods to see what this stuff was all about. It comes in dry flakes that are a golden yellow-ey color (kinda looks like fish food), and it has a cheezy nutty flavor. Evidently you can sprinkle it on popcorn, pasta or what have you, but I've pretty much used my entire supply in, what is now referred to in our house simply as, The Dressing. Once you make it, you will not need any other dressing in your fridge. I'm serious. Like, for realsies seriously serious.
adapted via Nari, via "Hollyhock Cooks: Food to Nourish Body, Mind and Soil"
- Whole head of garlic (that's right, the whole thing. It's somewhere between 9-12 cloves. Do not fear it.)
- 1/3 cup of Apple Cider Vinegar
- 1/3 cup of Soy Sauce or Tamari
- 1/3 cup of Water
- 1/2 cup of Nutritional Yeast Flakes
- 1 tsp. of Dijon Mustard
- 1 1/2 cups of sunflower or safflower oil (I've also used olive oil and it's just as tasty.)
4. Dolphin Pose
I've mentioned a few times that I love yoga. Usually, I pop in a DVD and stretch and sweat in my living room. A few months ago, however, I latched onto an instructor at my gym and I've been regularly attending his class. While it is a beginner/intermediate class, he does a great job of reading the group and challenging us with new poses. The first time I attended we did dolphin pose, a pose I had never done before.
I can't do the full arm balance yet, and my whole leg and foot trembles when lifted; my forehead is just a faucet of sweat. But, the other day, I glanced in the mirror and saw my very long leg extended upwards and my toe pointed perfectly. Damn, it was graceful! And that's the wonderful thing: those surprising moments when you see the progress, even when it doesn't feel that way. So often we are too much into ourselves, and we get buried in the turmoil and the exertion. But if we just allow some moments to glance outward and see the grace and beauty that has come as a result, we can take the grace back into ourselves. Who says grace can't tremble and wobble?
5. Lake Gregory
I have lived in Los Angeles for almost five years now. I really do love it here, and one of the perks of Los Angeles is that I can leave Los Angeles. I can drive for about an hour and be in the mountains. For a girl raised in the Rockies, this is a big perk.
We started going up to Big Bear a few years ago. It's really beautiful up there, but with the "rustic" lake-front mansions, "rustic" drivers in their Cadillac Escalades, the "rustic" Starbucks, and every woman (and some brave, fashion-forward men) in fur-lined boots in case they get caught in an avalanche while at the "rustic" day spa--it's lost its mountain-y-ness for me. We started looking for alternatives, and that's when D.R. found Lake Gregory. It's a comparatively small lake in the vicinity of Big Bear and Lake Arrowhead. I'm sure most people just skip it on their way up. I'm here to tell you, stop skipping it.
All of the houses are further up the mountain, leaving the lake shore pretty open. There is a water slide and swimming area for kids and families. There's a baseball diamond on one end that seems to act as a dog park when there's no game. There are nice stretches of shore for fishing, or just sitting and enjoying fresh, non-smogged air. People acknowledged us when they walked by, and some--what?!--struck up a conversation. I can't say for sure if boats are allowed on the water, but there were none while we were there. It was lovely and quiet. The few hours we spent there made me forget we are city-dwellers. We're going back tomorrow.
Also, you can hit the hoppin' towns of Blue Jay and Twin Peaks (no affiliation with the TV series). D.R. and I had dinner at The Grill at Antlers Inn. While it's clearly the hot-spot (the only spot?), and people were dressed pretty snazzy, they had no problem with us rolling up in shorts, sunglasses and smelling of lake water. The menu ranges from sushi and Italian, to bistro fare and brunch. It's not the best food I've ever had, but I think they are aiming for variety, not excellence; it gets the job done. I think, however, we're going to the all-purpose town diner next time. Mountains always bring a craving for chicken-fried . . . something.